Seasons
by what used to be meemee
Summary: EriolXTomoyo. When a loved one dies, Tomoyo leaves to find comfort in the only person who understands. Version 1.1 [Complete]
1. Prologue: Ame

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but plagiarism is still a crime!

****

Seasons

Prologue

+ + +

Ame.

  
  
It was raining. The drops of water came down slowly at first, but now it was quick and pounded on the grass. The soil took it in hungrily, but though dry and parched, even it couldn't take in all the water. The delicate flowers outside were quickly withering. The once clear windows were now stained with each smear of water. A reflection distorted. Her reflection. The white of her fingers touched the cold and wet windowsill, her languid fingers equally cold. Her face equally wet.

  
The once white and creamy skin was now stained with each tear that flowed down. 

  
And outside the rain came. 

  
Her teeth bit at her rosy, rosy lips at a vain attempt to try to stop the tears. But they kept coming, like the rain.

  
No one was with her. She was alone, lonely. No one was there to stop her tears. But then again, no one would understand. She would leave tomorrow. Where, she didn't know. Just away from here, from all of the…distractions.

  
Outside, the flowers finally crumbled under the intense pressure. Inside, the girl did the same.  


Ame.  
  
+ + +

I'm doing a rewrite of Seasons, since I can't stand this version. XD

~meemee 


	2. Chapter 1: Hana

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but plagiarism is still a crime!

****

Seasons

Chapter 1: Hana  
  
+ + +

  
Hana.  


  
The sky outside was a brilliant blue, the sun and clouds laughing in their gaiety, mocking her in their happiness, in their joy. Violet eyes lifted up to meet the blinding light. They blinked back down, anger rising up in her chest. She bit at her red lips, but this time there were no tears.  


  
She was clothed in all black, her shoes and dress stylishly pretty. Her white delicate hands clutched at a paper. Her shiny black shoes tapped lightly as she entered a shop. Fragrances filled her nose as she looked around at the multitude of colors that met her eyes. Through all the reds, greens, oranges, and yellow, she found what she was looking for. Pink.  


  
Her feet moved as though involuntarily to the fragile pink blossom and her trembling fingers picked them up. _Sakura._ Her eye caught on something else that made her breath catch up in her throat. Peonies. _Li._  


  
She bit her lip again, but picked up the peonies too and went straight to the counter. The girl at the counter looked at her, startled. "Tomoyo-san?" the voice was gentle, kind. Tomoyo looked at the girl, brushing her long dark hair out of her eyes to see who would address her as such. The girl had brown short hair that curled around her face attractively with warm brown eyes, and her stomach bulging slightly.

  
  
She recognized her immediately. "Rika-san," she acknowledged, giving a brief nod.

  
  
Rika looked at her compassionately, but said, "Will this be all?" Tomoyo nodded, her beautiful hair falling back into her eyes. Rika rang it up on the register, and Tomoyo handed her the money wordlessly. The brown haired girl seemed to be contemplating something in her mind. "Tomoyo-san?" she finally asked, as she handed her the flowers.

  
  
Tomoyo looked at her. "Yes?"  
  


"Naoko-san and Chiharu-san are planing a baby shower for me," Rika flushed at the word baby, "and I'm not supposed to know, but you know how Yamazaki-san is," she laughed. Tomoyo did and the realization cut through her like a knife. She wasn't suppose to be happy.

There was no answer. Rika paused, but continued, despite of the lack of response. "I was wondering if you would like to come?"  


  
Tomoyo looked at Rika's fingers that were now curled proudly along the lining of the rounding in her stomach. She looked at the soft brown eyes of the expecting mother. Her eyes closed, her dark long lashes contrasting with her white face. "I offer you my congratulations," her lips formed the words instinctively, her voice taking on the cold polite shell, "but I'm afraid that I won't be able to make it." She turned before she could see the disappointment in Rika's eyes and walked out of the shop, not wanting to think about anything.  


  
+ + +

  
Her feet took her swiftly past buildings and businesses, the tapping on the pavement light, but pounding in her ears. She stopped suddenly in front of a vast field, full with stones engraved with names.

  
  
She sucked in a deep breath, but went steadily on through the endless maze of green. _Li_. She looked at the telltale, pink, cherry blossom tree up ahead, in full bloom. _Sakura._ Sadness welled up inside her.  


  
Her feet finally stopped in front of the beautiful tree. Under it were two slabs of stone. She put the cherry blossoms down on one, and the peonies on the other, then kneeled and bowed respectfully.

  
  
Engraved on it was the name of Kinomoto Sakura and Li Syaoran.  


+ + +  


"Sakura-san," her voice shook ever so slightly. "I brought you flowers today, not that you need them, since," she looked up at the blossoming cherry tree, "you have so many of your own, but I just thought that I would visit you and Li-kun today." 

The graves were silent. She pressed her lips together and sighed. "It's been a month since…since you've gone. So much has happened. Rika-san is pregnant, Chiharu-san and Yamazaki-kun are engaged. Even Naoko-san has a boyfriend." Her voice cracked. "I…I miss you guys a lot. But I know that you're probably happy somewhere out there. Don't forget me okay?" 

She could feel her eyes filling up with water, but she didn't want those, didn't want the tears. She wanted to be strong, to stay strong. But they just kept on coming.  


+ + +  


__

"But Sakura-chan," her voice was trembling. "I don't understand."  


  
Her eyes were green, so green. So calm, beautiful. "I'm dying Tomoyo- chan. That's all there is to it."  


  
He was silent. She turned to him desperately. "Li-kun, tell her to stop lying! Li-kun, she can't be serious!"  


  
Syaoran had eyes for no one but her. He ignored Tomoyo's hysterics, and his steady brown eyes burned. "When?" his voice was strangled and forced.

  
  
An ironic smile formed on Sakura's face. "Tomorrow."  
  


At this, Tomoyo burst into tears. "When did you know? Why didn't you tell us sooner?"  


  
Sakura bent and took her head in her lap. "I told Eriol-kun. That was enough."  
  


Syaoran said nothing, but his eyes continued to burn with a sort of despair. "What kind of…disease is it?"  


  
Sakura looked up. "Magic. All magic. No, Syaoran-kun, don't think that," she quickly said at the look on his face. "It was nothing like that. I've lived enough. My life has been with you, Tomoyo, all our friends. I don't need anymore. I'm just…just thankful that I had this long to live. To love."  
  


"You've only lived for twenty years," Tomoyo protested, her eyes still full of tears.  
  


Sakura ignored this statement, but told her, "Tomoyo, I want you to sing for me, at my funeral. And I need you to promise that you will live my life for me."  


  
Her violet eyes flashed. "I'm not promising you that," she declared softly, locking her eyes with those wise green orbs. "I won't live without you."  


  
"Tomoyo," Sakura pressed her hand on Tomoyo's, hard and begging. "Please, Tomoyo, I need you to do this for me."  
  


She had never refused Sakura anything, never had been able to. And right when she needed to the most, her heart failed her. Sakura saw the submission in her eyes before she said a word, and she relaxed. Tomoyo bit her lip fiercely. "What does Hiiragizawa-kun say about this?"  
  


"He knows," Sakura said simply. "He knew."  
  


Syaoran bent also, down to her level. "He knew? What?"  
  


Sakura ignored this too. "I won't ask you to live for me Syaoran," she now took his hands. His lips twisted in an ironical smile. "But you have to promise me not to suicide." He nodded. Sakura smiled, and finally cried.  
  


+ + +

  
_The day was cold, dreary, and dark, but she reveled in it. She wanted to be cold, to be sad, to be dark. She wanted to be angry too, but she couldn't be. She could only feel sadness and loneliness.  
  
_

The funeral for Kinomoto Sakura was to be held at the actual burial grounds beneath a cherry blossom tree. How appropriate_, she thought bitterly, but there was no reproach only sadness.  
  
_

Li Syaoran died an hour after Sakura did. The doctors could find no cause. She could've told them. She would've died of a broken heart. But her heart was broken, and still she was not dead, like Syaoran. She had promised. Promised.  
  


She stood in her black dress and walked up to the podium to deliver her promise. Her mouth opened, and she sang.

She sang in her sadness, in her despair, and gave everything she knew, she would ever know. When her mouth closed, she was nothing but an empty shell.   


Daidouji Sonomi cried. Kinomoto Fujitaka cried. Kinomoto Touya cried. Great-grandfather Amamiya cried. Tsukishiro Yukito wasn't there to cry. Neither was Keroberos.  
  


Hiiragizawa Eriol had no tears to shed. His guardians stood next to him in silent respect as Daidouji Tomoyo walked down. Her face, too, was dry.  
  


+ + +

  
"I'm leaving tomorrow," she continued, the tears still pouring down from her eyes. "But I'll be back to see you. Wait for me…"  


  
The wind blew around her, and she stood, letting her long, long hair get ruffled, looking wildly elegant. And she left.  


  
The flowers left behind on the graves touched by the swaying of the wind and up they flew, together.  


  
Hana.


	3. Chapter 2: Kaze

Kaze.  
  
The wind blew over the quaint little café in the heart of Quebec. The wind was piercing and cold and it blew in the direction of the east. Sitting on the outside was a young lady, dressed in a becoming black coat, sipping a hot liquid from a delicate china cup, help by equally delicate fingers. Her large brimmed (black) hat hid the expression from her eyes, but one could see that she was, if nothing else, calm. Her long slender feet were crossed, and her elbows rested on the hard arms of the chair, relaxed.  
  
Still, if she was calm, it was a forced one. Tortured, jumbled thoughts racked through her head. One month and eleven days ago she was still laughing. One month and six days ago she was crying. Now she was reflecting.  
  
She was wishing, fervently, desperately, that she wasn't alive, that she could be dead. But she had promised. Promised.  
  
Her mother probably would have gone crazy if she had died, not to mention Grandfather Amamiya and Kinomoto-sensei. She stayed alive for them. And for Sakura.  
  
Sakura.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a polite 'cough' behind her. Not even bothering to look up, she asked politely in English, "Yes?"  


"Do you recognize me Daidouji-san?"

  
She now looked up, surprised beyond belief. In front of her was Eriol, Sakura's 'guide,' the reincarnation of Clow Reed. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.  
  
Eriol gave a smile. "I never knew you could be speechless either, Daidouji-san. May I?" he indicated the empty chair next to him.  
  
Her senses finally came back to her, and she graciously nodded her head. "By all means, Hiiragizawa-san."  
  
He sat down, still smiling. "So Daidouji-san, what brings you to a little city in Canada?"  
  
"Quebec is far from being little, Hiiragizawa-san," she avoided the obvious question expertly. "The province does want its independence, I'm sure you know."  
  
"Of course," he replied, nodding amiably. "Of course."  
  
"What brings you to Canada?" she now asked him, her violet eyes flickering up to his deep, deep blue eyes.  
  
"Of course to see you, Daidouji-san," his voice was now deadly serious. "To see you."  
  
+ + +

  
Her beautiful features portrayed nothing of her feelings. But her violet eyes were a tumult of emotions. Confusion, sadness, anger all ran through her head. Her voice, however, was as polished as her face. "To see me, Hiiragizawa-san?" she forced her lips into a charming smile. "I'm very flattered, Hiiragizawa-san."  
  
Eriol looked at her, his blue eyes searching earnestly. "Sakura-san…wanted me to," his voice was now low and apologetic. "Nadeshiko-san told me."  
  
The little control she had over her emotions almost shattered at the name. She looked at Eriol, her eyes saying more than she ever could.  
  
"You know that Nadeshiko-san can appear before those with just a little magic," he struggled to keep his tone from being matter-of-fact. "They're…worried. And I am too."  
  
She ignored the fact that dead people were worried about her and just bluntly asked, "Why would you be worried about me? Back in elementary, we barely spoke! I was only your friend through…her." She could not bring herself to say _her_ name. She thought of it often, and she heard it inside and outside her head, but she would not, could not say _her_ name.  
  
To her surprise, Eriol took her hand. "Sakura, Daidouji-san. Sakura."  
  
"Hiiragizawa-san," she laughed nervously, withdrawing her hand from his. "What is this, therapy?"  
  
"Exactly," once again, there was that earnest seriousness that pierced right through her. "Exactly. I know what you're going through right now, Daidouji-san," he went on, keeping his deep, deep eyes on her face. "And I can help you. I can explain why…"  
  
She laughed skeptically and sarcastically and stood, her slim figure unexpectedly towered over him. "Explain?" her voice was not only incredulous, but also haughty. "Explain? Hiiragizawa-san, they're dead," she spat out the word. "What more is there to explain? And I don't want you here; thinking it's your duty to come give me comfort or something, just because Nadeshiko-san asked you to come. I don't want nor need anyone's pity or therapy or whatever the hell you came here for. I just want to be alone for a while. And I don't want to talk about it." And with that she turned heel and walked off, her heels clicking furiously.  
  
Eriol sighed and sank down, his head buried in his hands. From out of his overcoat, a little black cat floated out. "Master, you shouldn't stress yourself over it," it said in a low whisper, as to not attract attention.  
  
"Spinel, I'm not," his muffled voice replied. He lifted his head and the black ringlets around his bloodshot eyes were visible. His face that was white, so white was now a pale gray, as if he were sick.  
  
A woman came into the café and sat down across Eriol. "Eriol-sama, if you didn't use illusion she could have seen how much it was affecting you too."  
  
"It's not affecting me," but the strain was on his voice.  
  
"Hmm, what was the joke I heard the other day?" the woman professed to be thinking. "Oh yeah. I think you're in Egypt because you're in the Nile. Get it? Denial? The Nile?" Here she laughed a bright happy sound that was amplified by the wind. And all around her people smiled. Happiness was hard to find these days.  
  
"I'm not in denial," Eriol insisted weakly. He sighed again. "I should go after her."  
  
"Not until you have the right reasons," the woman was now serious, firm. "She was right; you only came because you thought it was your duty."  
  
"Ruby is right, you know," Spinel Sun now spoke up. "Perhaps you should try and be friends with the girl first. Then you have the right to say those things to her. Right now…you have nothing. You even insulted her."  
  
Eriol weighed these things on his mind. He let out a long breath. "You're right. I'll go after her now and apologize." The two guardians nodded.  
  
As Eriol went out of sight, Nakuru spoke. "She's gotten more beautiful."  
  
"Of course," Spinel replied. "She's grown up."  
  
"But it's not just that, Suppi. She's put up this…wall of beauty, to hide her sadness. And she's certainly more defensive," Nakuru explained.  
  
Spinel nodded. "Grief can do that to you. It's a terrible thing."  


+ + +  


"Daidouji-san!"  
  
She almost cringed. Her anger was now spent and remorse was setting in. She really didn't want to face him anyway. He was in the wrong, but so was she. She turned anyway.  
  
He was there behind her, and she was amazed at the change that took place. He looked so…old. Old and tired and sad. "Daidouji-san," he panted. "I wanted to say sorry."  
  
Before he could go on, she cut in. "No, no, Hiiragizawa-kun, I should say sorry. I was horribly rude…"  
  
"But I was wrong to be dishonest with you," now he interrupted. "Daidouji-san, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot. I had no right to say any of those to you. I wasn't thinking; you were right, I was doing this out of duty. But I want to change that. And since we're two people that are grieving, I'd like us to be friends. No therapy or any of the crap. I just want to be friends." He held out his hand.  
  
Every and any animosity Tomoyo might have had towards him disappeared. If anything, she admired his candor and honesty. So she stretched out her own hand, and their fingers touched.  
  
Around them, the wind direction changed and to the west it went. The breeze was now gentle, warm.  
  
Kaze.  



	4. Chapter 3: Yuki

****

Seasons

Chapter 3: Yuki

Yuki.  
  
The white fluffy snow came down in little clusters and surrounded her in a gentle swirl of white. Her delicate hand reached out to touch, and the snowflakes softly fell on her hand.  
  
It was white all around her. White, covered with snow and a single flower in the midst of it all.  
  
This last flower fascinated her. A thin layer of ice enclosed the gray delicate petals as well as its sickly green stem. She bent down, a movement graceful and fluid. And yet she was not aware of her grace; all her attention was on the one flower.  
  
With one white finger she reached out to stroke the pale cold blossom.

  
It shattered under her touch. The pieces just flew away, high into the biting cold wind. She watched it go and blinked back a tear. Untouchable beauty.  
  
She stood and turned. Behind her, a tall dark figure stood, watching her closely. "Hiiragizawa-san, why take me to Switzerland the coldest time of the year?" she finally spoke, walking towards him.  
  
He cocked his head, reaching out a gloved hand to help her. "Because I like the cold," he answered, smiling, "and I thought you would too."  
  
Her hand was gloved too, and she accepted the hand that was offered. How true it was, that she liked the cold. And how glad she was, that he was being truthful with her. "Do you truly want to be my friend, Hiiragizawa-san?" she asked, for what seemed like the millionth time.  
  
Eriol smiled for the millionth time. "If I didn't, I wouldn't have taken you to Switzerland," he said, pulling her hand closer to him.  
  
Even if she didn't resist, she was startled. Her large violet eyes opened wide, as did her mouth. "Hiiragizawa-san, where are you taking me now?" A strange question, since they weren't moving at all.  
  
He was looking at her rather strangely, with an earnestness she did not understand, and still they did not move.  
  
The wind blew harder, tussling both of their hair. A stray strand fell from Tomoyo's perfect hair into her blank serious face. Eriol's other hand came to her brow and slowly tucked the hair back in.  
  
She suddenly came back to her senses. Pulling away almost reluctantly, she smiled and spoke, "Hiiragizawa-san, we should get back and see how Nakuru- san and Spinel-san are doing, ne?" And she turned; her footsteps quick and hurried.  
  
Eriol looked after her, the strange look still in his eyes; he followed slowly.  
  
+ + +

  
They came in laughing.  
  
Well actually, Nakuru came in laughing. Tomoyo looked up from her cup of steaming dark tea. Eriol merely ignored them, eyes still intent on the thick volume in his long fingers.  
  
"Eeeeriol-samaaaaaaa!" Nakuru excitedly bounced in. "Suuuuppi-chan didn't want to play _with_ the snow with me so look!" she held out her hand. A beautiful cat-like snow figure sat in her palm. "He played _in_ the snow!"  
  
A sudden hiccup caused the fluffy white snow to disperse. Now Nakuru looked sheepish. "Oh yeah, I stuffed his face with peppermint candy." Spinel Sun looked at both of them sleepily and hiccuped again. "So he's kind of drunk." Now he began to laugh hysterically, hiccuping the whole way.  
  
Tomoyo blinked, but couldn't hold back a smile. They both looked so ridiculously happy, she suddenly felt happier too. At this thought, she suddenly felt angry. She didn't want to be happy. She had to be sad, to be mad, at them because they left her.  
  
"Is something wrong, Tomoyo-chan?" Nakuru's voice brought her out of her thoughts. Spinel Sun actually looked a little less drunk for the moment, his eyes looking at her quizzically. Eriol was looking at her too, his gaze intense and piercing.  
  
"Nothing," she quickly shook her head. "It's nothing." Her head suddenly throbbed, and she stood, charming them with a gracious smile. "I thank you for your kindness in allowing me to stay in your home. I…need to rest now." She bowed and walked off to the room Eriol had showed her where she could stay.  
  
Eriol's eyes followed her, still not losing their intensity. "She still feels it."  
  
Nakuru now sat, Spinel Sun having fallen asleep again. "Feels what? The pain? Eriol-sama, it's only been 2 months. One of those months she had to suffer all by herself. And for this month, both of you have just begun to know each other. You can't expect miracles in such a short time."  
  
Eriol sighed. "I know and I understand, but it unnerves me. Through the whole time that I've taken her traveling she never asked me about Sakura-san. Not once. And she never wants to talk about it."  
  
"_You_ never want to talk about Sensei," Nakuru's voice came out low, but clear and accusing.  
  
"Mizuki Kaho has nothing to do with this," Eriol maintained his calm dignity. His voice was icy and very controlled.  
  
Nakuru saw that she had crossed the line so she no longer pursued the subject. Instead she rose and with Spinel still in her arms, "Eriol-sama I'm going to bed. Good night."  
  
"Good night," the iciness was now gone from his voice and only regret remained. But before he could apologize, she was gone.

  
+ + +  


The tall grandfather clock cast long shadows down the hall, ticking softly until it finally struck midnight. There was a soft gong.  
  
Hiiragizawa Eriol looked up from the book. His eyes were bloodshot, and he looked tired. Finally closing it, the cover was now clearly shown. Magic and Death.

  
Before he could even think of what to do next, his sensitive ears picked up a soft sound from somewhere. He now stood, and walked into the hallway.  
  
The sound got slightly louder. It sounded like "…crying?" he murmured.  
  
As if magnetically drawn, his feet led him in front of Tomoyo's room. He put his ear against the closed door and listened. Sure enough, the weeping was coming from within.  
  
He rapped at the door lightly, as to not wake Spinel or Ruby. He then heard the rustling of frantic hands and hurried sniffs. Then he heard her voice. "C-come in." As composed as it was, her voice sounded raw and almost hoarse.  
  
Turning the knob, he stepped in. "Daidouji-san?"  
  
She was sitting on the large bed, bathed in the moonlight that made her white skin look luminous and beautiful. "Hiiragizawa-san..." she coughed slightly. She was at a loss of what to say next.  
  
Queen of masks, as she indubitably was, he still could not help but notice the rosier cheeks, the pinker nose, the red puffy eyes. And his quick eyes saw something sticking out from under the bed. Before she knew what he was doing, he pulled out the white tissue, causing mountains more to fall out. All were soaked with tears. One third was soaked with blood. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong, Daidouji-san?" his voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
She opened her mouth to say 'nothing' but what came out was "Everything." At this word, she broke. Huge loud sobs wrecked her body, making her shake with emotion.  
  
"Daidouji-san…" he trailed off, looking at the weeping girl.  
  
He moved towards her, but, "Don't," she gasped out firmly. "Don't come near me, Hiiragizawa." He ignored this in his concern for her. She glared, her eyes dilating horribly. "I'm serious, Eriol," she bit her lip sharply. "I don't want your pity!"  
  
He was taken aback by this statement. His voice lost the dignity and control and once again he was a hurt little boy, "I'm not giving you pity, Daidouji-san," he took one step closer. "I thought…I thought I was your friend." He took a long breath. "Aren't I, Tomoyo-san?" he reverted to her name as she did.  
  
Through her watery eyes, she looked at him, long and hard. His apparent vulnerability caused her barriers to lower. "Yes, but…" in the process of trying to think up something, her anger suddenly returned. "You don't understand! You can't understand! You didn't know her as I did! You didn't grow up with her…"  
  
"On the contrary, Daidouji-san," the hard exterior returned. "I came into being in this form, as you know, and I watched Sakura grow from the day she was born. If she was happy, I rejoiced with her, if she was sad, I would grieve too. So don't say I don't understand. She's my half's daughter, and therefore, I consider her my daughter as well."  
  
Tomoyo was silent, gulping down a few more shaky sobs. Her vision was blurred but remorse was running through her veins and in an impulsive act, she stood and embraced Eriol.  
  
All of a sudden, the crying started anew.  
  
+ + +  


"I'm sorry, Eriol," she choked out. He felt her moist cheek against his neck and the rapid heaving of her breast. Her hands were tightly put around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."  
  
He softened and his arms went around her. "I'm sorry too Tomoyo," he whispered.  
  
She didn't seem to have heard him, because her next words came out in a tumble. "I'll never do it again, I promise, I promise…" her crying was almost hysterical. "I miss them so much, so much…I…I want to see them again…so bad, so bad…Eriol…"  
  
It was then that he saw it. A small knife, the steel edges sharp, lay beside her. The edges were tainted with red. He unhooked her hands from him and taking her gently by the arm, turned her wrist to the moonlight.  
  
Scars marred her beautiful wrists. Old scars, new scars, reopened ones. All in dried blood.  
  
"Tomoyo," was all he could say, "Tomoyo."  


She took his wrist and let the moonlight shine on his, and there they were, those same scars on his wrists. She looked at him questioningly through blurred eyes, but the sadness overtook her once more, and she cried again.  
  
Eriol sat down on the bed, and she buried her head in his chest, drowning him in her tears. She cried like the world was ending, but took comfort in his warmth. He too, let the silent tears fall, mingling their tears, also taking comfort from her.  
  
Outside the snow fell softly, gently, in small whirlwinds of magical wonder. The white pureness floated from the sky down touching the tainted earth.

  
Yuki.  



	5. Chapter 4: Tsuki

****

Seasons

Chapter 4: Tsuki

Tsuki.  
  
The moon shone brightly against the ominous midnight blue of the sky. The light was an almost sickly yellow, but bright nonetheless.  
  
Her lovely violet eyes soaked in the light. Dressed only in a thin dark purple nightgown, her white feet touched the cold cement of the balcony. The warm breeze washed over her and enveloped her. She almost flinched, but relaxed when the cold came back.  
  
France was a lovely country, she decided, but it was a bit warm for her tastes. It was almost spring, though; that breeze was probably a prelude of what was to come. It was still winter, the cold, dreary season. The season she wanted to be.

  
They had died in the summer. Near the end, true but summer nonetheless. She remembered having felt a cold spell, then. It must have been an omen. It was almost a crime for them to die in the summer, the season of joy and happiness. The funny thing was, a month later, in September, the cherry tree was still in full bloom.  
  
She was in Canada in October. In the fall, the dying season, and Eriol had found her then.  
  
Eriol. She felt her mouth curve upwards at the thought. Eriol…  
  
Her mind suddenly reeled with confusion. _Eriol_…her mind screamed at her. _He's the one who's trying to take away your pain. You want to keep it…keep it…keep it…  
_  
_But do I?_ Her heart's voice was but a whisper. _Do I...?  
_  
+ + +  


He awoke with a start. His chest heaved up and down as he took in long, shaky breaths. His hand reached up and wiped the thin film of sweat off his head.  
  
_Kaho…_  
  
He stood, hastily putting on a bathrobe, and went outside on his balcony. The moon was there, smiling, mocking. The familiar anger bubbled up inside him, and he closed his eyes, letting it wash over him.  
  
After a while, his eyes opened. His ears began to fill with a faint melodious voice.  
  
Quickly going inside and grabbing his glasses his keen eyes went to the left of his balcony. His eyes drank in the sight before him. Tomoyo was standing there; black hair streaming out behind her, her mouth opened just a bit, but the melody pouring out clear and strong. Her eyes were closed, and her body swayed with each resounding note. He could not help but notice that her nightgown set off her every curve to perfection.  


Her eyes finally opened, and she looked to her right on instinct.  
  
Her mouth opened once more as she saw the dark-haired man that stood watching her. Still she was more surprised when he turned quickly and went inside. In that brief instance, she had seen the glistening dampness on his cheeks and in his eyes. Tears.  
  
She also went inside her room, debating whether or not to go to him or just stay in her room and sulk. But the look that was on his shiny eyes, the look of hurt and vulnerability drew her to him.  
  
So she found her white bare feet leading to the bedroom Eriol had proclaimed his. Her already white hands turned even whiter as her knuckles rapped the large door sharply. She could hear a hurried rustling and a muttered curse that made her shapely lips curve upward involuntarily.  
  
The door opened by her hands and she stood there, looking into the room. Eriol was also standing there, looking perfectly composed. "I didn't say you could come in," he said softly.  
  
She looked back answering, "Who ever said I would listen to you?"  
  
Then both at a loss of what to do, they stood, staring at each other. A thick book that lay on his dressing table caught her attention. He saw her eyes on that book, and as she went towards it curiously, he grasped her small fragile wrist. Startled, she turned. "Don't," was all she got from him and she saw him biting his lip. She almost laughed. Her habits were rubbing off on him. "Don't," he repeated. "Let me…Let me tell you a story. My story. And her story."  
  
Her? She could feel her throat choke on the reference. "Her?" she echoed.  
  
He gave a sad smile. "No. Not _her_. Kaho."  
  
_Kaho_. She drew in a sharp breath. She had forgotten that she even existed. Their old math teacher, the one with the bell, the second chance… "Mizuki-sensei . . .how is she?"  
  
His lips twisted and a light chuckle escaped from those lips. She was afraid of the bitterness in the sound. "She's dead Daidouji-san. So you see, that is how I understand your pain. Because I lost the one I loved."  
  
In horror at this new revelation, she quickly interrupted, asking, "But…we…we were never informed or..."  
  
"Sakura was," he cut in, his steel eyes locking hers in a stare. "She didn't want to tell any of you, because Kaho died of the same reason she knew she would die of."  
  
Tomoyo wanted him to stop these words, to close her ears, but they were open, and she heard. She heard, all too clearly, and he didn't stop, couldn't stop.  
  
"She…she asked to be cremated," his voice was quiet, but the silence of the night made it a thousand times louder. She could not read from his face what emotions were running through that mind, what thoughts…"And to have her remains scattered over the ocean."  
  
Flashes of the places, they'd been to ran through her mind, and her heart opened with sudden understanding. None of the places where they'd been were near the ocean. He didn't want to stay in England, an island surrounded by ocean. Nor in Japan, islands surrounded by ocean. And now she wondered how he was so composed all the time. And through her experience with magic through Sakura, she realized why.  
  
"You don't have to be brave for me, Hiiragizawa-san. Illusion must have a strain on your limited magic."  
  
His blue, blue eyes widened and now he smiled, though only in his face. "I knew you were intelligent, Daidouji-san, as well as having sound instincts." He waved his hand in the air and the Illusion dropped.  
  
His hair was now rumpled, and his eyes were red and puffy around the edges. His brow that once looked so serene was tormented with wrinkles. And yet, he did not look old, only vulnerable and small and insignificant, and her heart went out to him.  
  
Her breath gave a hitch and she moved towards him slowly, enveloping him in a hug. He felt a sharp breath from him, but his arms went around her too, and she could feel his head in her hair. "Daidouji-san…" he began. "Don't think that I was being brave for you. I'm not that good. I'm selfish too you know. I…I have to put up this image for myself. Because if I don't…I'll remember that I loved her and that she's not here and she'll never be here."  
  
"Hiiragizawa-san, don't say that. You are good. You're here with me, trying to help me, and all I'm doing is rejecting you," she could feel wetness on her cheeks, and she wasn't sure if they were hers or his, but it didn't matter.  
  
He could say no more, but he could not stop. "I need to tell you why…"  
  
"Eriol," and the shock of her saying his name did not register to him. "Eriol, you don't need to tell me why. Tell me tomorrow. For right now, I'll just hold you. And you hold me."  
  
He did. And they cried the night away.  
  
+ + +  
  
She awoke with the sun shining full upon her on the face. She stretched and her arm touched against something warm and familiar. She started up, looking around. She wasn't in her own bed; rather, she was in Eriol's bed. She saw that the top of the sheets and the pillows were still damp from their tears. She touched her face. Her tears, their tears.  
  
She looked beside her, at Eriol, who still slept soundly. He looked so calm and so sweet. _Like a baby._ She smiled and bent down to kiss that white forehead, his dark hair tickling her nose. _My very best friend. _  
  
She rose from the bed and careful as to not wake him, she tiptoed out the room and went downstairs to go outside to smell the scent of flowers that mingled with the fresh crisp morning air.  
  
+ + +  
  
He awoke with the sun casting shadows upon his face. The sun was barely out of the mountains, the light still touching the tips of the brown peaks. He inhaled deeply and a different fragrance floated from the air into his nose. It wasn't unpleasant, and he racked his brain to figure out why it was slightly familiar. Next to him was the lightest of dents, and he finally figured out what it was. It was_ her_ smell. He breathed in again, catching the last fleeting fragrance and wondered where she could've gone.  
  
He slightly remembered the night before, her tears and his tears. Their warm embrace, their exhaustion, and him crying out for her to stay with him… He flushed, thinking what a fool he must have made of himself.  
  
But she had consented, and they tumbled onto the bed, promptly falling asleep. He didn't remember a time when he'd slept so soundly, without dreams, not even when he slept with… _Kaho._ But there was something healing about Tomoyo's embrace and her voice.  
  
Hearing a bright laugh outside from his balcony, he rose and went to see. It was Spinel Sun in his true form romping and playing with Tomoyo. Tomoyo looked positively ecstatic, and he could hear Ruby Moon's voice in the distance, and he had to smile. Tomoyo looked up suddenly, as if aware of his presence. Her smile broadened and she waved. His smile widened, and he waved back.  
  
_My very best friend._  
  
As the sun slowly came out into the sky, the moon sank lower, dipping into the mountains. But it was smiling nonetheless, and as it slowly disappeared, the sun arose, blazing with all its glory.  
  
Tsuki.  



	6. Chapter 5: Hoshi

****

Seasons

Chapter 5: Hoshi  


Hoshi.

  
The stars were bright and sparkled against the night sky. The light that shone down was soothing, comforting. It was warm too, but that was probably just the fire that was cackling, burning in the fireplace in a bright display of oranges and reds.  
  
She was staring at him; no, not quite staring, but just looking as he read from that big volume of a book. He was quite aware of it, and finally she voiced her question. "Why do you read from that book so much?"  
  
As he put the book down, the fire reflected the words on the book. Magic. Death. She saw, and knew what was coming. Taking in a sharp breath, she wanted to stop her ears, stop her eyes. He smiled, a sad smile, and replied, "Because I myself am not satisfied about why they died." She shivered, knowing full well whom they were, wanting to deny. But his eyes had locked hers, and he shook his head. "I need to tell you. You need to know. We need to stop hiding. And you're ready. I know you are."  
  
"But why tonight?" she asked, voice low and mellow in apprehension. Her evening gown was a beautiful deep blue, fingers spreading out the fluffy light layers in her lap. She was the perfect picture of a queen, black hair tumbling about her face in elegant curls.  
  
Across from her, he sat, fingers flexing, eyes the color of dark sapphires hidden behind the glint of his glasses. "Why wait?" his voice too was low. A pause. "It's a lovely night."  
  
She could almost hear the silent agreement from the stars. "Yes," she finally said, "it is."  
  
Behind him, two figures stood, silent, hidden in the shadows, there, almost as though for support. "I hope," his voice suddenly had a strong note of concern. "I hope, your aren't still…cutting yourself?"  
  
Her violet eyes softened at his worry, and shaking her head, "No Eriol-san. Of course not," her smile reassured him. She shuddered herself, remembering the red flow of the metallic smell of blood, and the glint of silver against white skin. "Of course not."  
  
He smiled too, "Good." Another pause. "Do you want to hear this?" his voice was kind, gentle.  
  
She opened her mouth to say no, but his compassion disarmed her and her lips formed the word, "Yes."  
  
He sighed a long, long sigh, and she was almost afraid of what he was going to say. Before she could voice this, he began to speak his voice low and ominous. "Clow Reed, before he was a sorcerer, was a fortune teller in Hong Kong, before leaving for Japan. His gift for seeing into the future, naturally gave him an advantage in such an endeavor. Then, he created the Clow Cards."  
  
"Why though?" she found herself asking.  
  
Eriol smiled. "Because he could. He…found the power of the cards to be too large, though, and he himself could not sustain their power. So he sealed them away in a book and appointed his two companions--whom he loved dearly--to guard them. The last card, as you know, was the balancing card, The Void to balance out the yin and the yang. It was too powerful to be in the book, so he sealed that away in a different place. You had an encounter with The Void, I remember." She nodded. "I'm so sorry I couldn't…"  
  
She interrupted. "Go on, Eriol-kun. Please." Mention of the Void brought back memories, painful and aching.  
  
He gave her a measured look, not unkindly though, and continued. "He knew that he would someday die, and he…he was an extremely powerful sorcerer, so he decided to reincarnate himself into two people, one to keep his magic, and the other to raise his reincarnation's daughter. She was the one whom he decided would succeed him in becoming the most powerful sorcerer on Earth. He knew that his guardian, Yue, would never approve, so he appointed…Mizuki Kaho to give Sakura a second chance with the sacred bell."  
  
Once again, she could not stop the questions that bubbled up inside her. "Why…why Mizuki-sensei?"  
  
"Kaho…Kaho is…was," he could not stop that fleeting flash of pain, and Tomoyo regretted asking, "very magical. She was the daughter of the shrine keepers of the Tsukimine Jinja Shrine, and therefore had experience in dealing with fate and the like, and she had a suitable amount of power. Clow Reed found her very suitable to the means to was to put her, but…" Here he gave another long sigh. "There was one major flaw in his plan. He planned very carefully the time and the magic he was to put into the Clow Book until Sakura could maintain her own magic. He put a lot of his magic into the book, but not enough. The rest went into the bell, so she could have the chance…but there wasn't enough there either. So…" Here he stopped.  
  
She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on.  
  
"Anyway, Clow Reed didn't realize that his magic alone wasn't enough. When a person with magic loses his/her magic, they die, because the magic is so infused with their being. So when Clow died, I was reincarnated into being as the 11-year-old that you knew."  
  
She took in a sharp breath, as if realizing for the first time, "How old are you Eriol-kun?"  
  
He smiled, but shook his head. "I don't know. I…to pass the time, I read and learned and studied. I created Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun, because," here he seemed a bit confused, "Well, when Clow Reed died, his magic was reincarnated to me, and not one ounce to Kinomoto-sensei. So I was in possession of a lot of magic to use to help Sakura, but still, I had much to spare. When my other half came into being, I watched and loved all of them. Nadeshiko-san, Sakura-san, and Touya-san. And you."  
  
Her eyes kindled, and the unbidden tears began to rise.  
  
"I was also charged to give the sacred bell, the bell for Sakura to have the second chance to Mizuki Kaho. Clow Reed knew that Yue would never consent to a so-called new master if he knew that Clow's magic existed still. That's why I couldn't give her the bell myself."  
  
Tomoyo couldn't stop the next words that tumbled out of her mouth. "But…so…how did they…die?"  
  
He bit his lower lip and relentlessly, to himself or Tomoyo, he didn't know, he spoke. "Clow died because his magic was gone and he just sort o...faded away. Kaho...Mizuki-sensei kept the bell; she was faithful and did what she was charged to do. But she didn't realize that Clow hadn't put in enough magic, as keen as her magical senses were, and the bell was slowly taking her magic away. Since she kept that bell close by, she wasn't affected until…when the bell disappeared, it took her magic with it, and it was then that she began to feel numb and tired."  
  
Tomoyo wondered that he could keep so calm while talking about this remarkable woman that he had loved. "She must have been," her voice was cracking, "very, very brave."  
  
He nodded, a bit wistful. "I noticed that her power was getting weaker and weaker, but she wouldn't let me know why, not until Sakura was done developing her powers. She hoped…she hoped that if Sakura had enough magic, that it wouldn't happen to her too. But…"  
  
She now took a long breath, steeling herself for the next words.  
  
"But when Sakura-san took in all this magic and turned the Cards into Sakura Cards, the Cards began to take the magic from her, because Clow's magic from the book was gone. It didn't help that she had to capture the Void. The Void took the most from her, because it was as powerful as all the Cards combined. Well, I didn't know any of this so I gave half my powers to Kinomoto-sensei, because I didn't want the burden of magic and went on with my life. By this time, Kaho was getting so weak, I finally pried the truth out from her," he took a shaky breath, trying to continue. "I contacted Sakura at once, you guys were 17, then, and told her and asked her if she was experiencing the same things. She hid nothing from me, though she tried. Remember when Kaho and I visited that summer, and we always seemed to disappear somewhere?"  
  
She nodded, remembering all too well. It made sense now, why they were always talking in whispers, and if she or Syaoran came up, they would get quiet and overly cheerful.  
  
"It was the next year that…that she died," his voice cracked slightly, and Tomoyo's heart ached even more for this man who must have loved so dearly. "She…I already told you right? She was cremated and her remains were scattered over the ocean." His eyes softened a bit. "She loved the water. I don't know why, but she loved it, the water, the ocean."  
  
He paused a bit, looking at Tomoyo. She was surprisingly calm but he suspected that under that calm exterior, she was suffering. He couldn't stop himself. He needed to get this out. Or they would never heal. "Sakura…I told Sakura, and she came to the funeral, even though I told her not to. She knew her time was coming, and she didn't tell you guys, just tried to live life as it should be lived. And to love this life."  
  
Tomoyo could feel the familiar anger rising again. "She should've told us! She…she shouldn't have put up that act of happiness so that we wouldn't be worried! She…" She didn't realize that a tear had fallen from her eyes.  
  
"Tomoyo-san, she _was_ happy. Don't you understand? She didn't do it just for you and the others. She did it for herself too," he said, praying, hoping that she would understand.  
  
She struggled to keep her emotions in check, but her face contorted, and the tears now began to flow freely. "I…I don't know how you can stand it Eriol-kun," her voice was quiet and a bit muffled.  
  
His brow furrowed, and he too, was beginning to feel what Tomoyo was apparently feeling. "I don't, Tomoyo. I can't. I…I just don't think about it."  
  
She couldn't answer, because her now audible sobs wrecked her body. "I miss them, Eriol. I missed them so much."  
  
He stood, and went over to her quickly, encircling his arms around her. "I know darling. I do too. I do too."  
  
She could feel the dampness on the top of her head, like before, and she hated herself for being weak, hated herself for making him cry. "Don't cry, Eriol," her voice was euphonious still, even as the falling tears coarsened it.  
  
She could feel him chuckle into her hair. "You're the one who's crying."  
  
She pulled back, and now they stared at one another, dark violet and dark blue, shining. The same darkness that plagued their lives. The same light that they would each have to revive.  
  
Tomoyo now spoke a thought that she had reflected through deeply. "Eriol-kun, I really don't know how you can do it. You're…well, this was supposed to be therapy," she smirked a little, but then more seriously, "You let go half your magic, your love, and S…Sakura-chan, and you've managed to accept it."  
  
He shook his head sadly. "That's the thing. I didn't accept it. I knew that it couldn't be reversed or erased. I'm still searching for answers. I didn't want that burden of magic on me, so I let Kinomoto-sensei have it," he sighed a bit. "He's comforted through Nadeshiko-san."  
  
"And Kero-chan and Yue-san and Yukito-san. Where…are they now?" she couldn't resist this question that burned in her mind since the funeral.  
  
He blinked, and deliberated, but finally, "Keroberos-san is asleep in the Sakura Book waiting for a new Master."  
  
"And Yue?" she prompted.  
  
He now seemed angry, not at her, but at the circumstances. "He is being reborn. Yukito-san…I'm afraid he's gone. Unless, the new Master or Mistress of the Cards needs a companion like him. Touya-kun…he took it fairly well considering. Lover and sister in one day."  
  
"But why me, Eriol-kun? Out of all the people that you could've chosen to reveal this to, why me?" she cocked her head, confused.  
  
He too looked a bit perplexed, a look that suited him very well, she thought, and replied, "Tomoyo-san, we think alike, we're both connected to Sakura, and we both know about her magic."  
  
She was a bit disappointed, and it showed; her features dampened a little, but she didn't know why. What did she expect anyway?  
  
He saw, and smiled. By now, both their tears had stopped, and he was sitting on the arm of her chair. "You asked how I could accept it. It was because of you. You helped me keep some of my sanity. And because I wanted to be your friend."  
  
It was a happy girl that embraced him.  
  
Behind them, the shadows still playing on their features, the two guardians smiled.  
  
Outside, the stars continued to twinkle, as though rejoicing too. The light of the stars never dimmed, even as the moon set, and the sun rose.  
  
Hoshi.  



	7. Chapter 6: Sora

****

Seasons

Chapter 6: Sora  
  
Sora.  
  
The morning sky was a brilliant blue, the sun barely just coming up. London, too was beginning to wake, the cars beginning to honk, and the people coming out.  
  
In the window of a white and blue mansion, a little stuffed…cat, it seemed, looked out at the city, and its eyes softened. So it wasn't stuffed after all, and it sighed, looking at the morning dew on the roses, the flurry of wings, the chirping of birds and crickets. _It's good to be home…_  
  
His keen ears suddenly twitched, and his eyes moved to the side, as it heard muffled tiptoes. It didn't sound like Ruby or Eriol-sama, he thought to himself. Stretching out his pale blue wings, he flew silently effortlessly into the hall, in time to see a dark head pop into the sitting room. _Tomoyo-san?  
_  
Curiously, he now flew into the sitting room, where he found her, white hands and nose pressed against the clear window in quiet delight. He now remembered that the sitting room had the biggest and best view for the sunrise and the garden. Timidly, quietly, he settled on the girl's frail shoulder. The girl was not alarmed, her violet eyes were clear and steady, and she spoke softly, "Ohayo Spinel san."  
  
Spinel Sun nodded greeting, "Ohayo Tomoyo-san. Why are you up so early?"  
  
Tomoyo's red lips curved up. "I wanted to see the sun rise. Since we arrived too late last night to see the sunset, I didn't want to miss the sunrise, especially not in Eriol-kun's home." She sighed as the bright rays touched the garden, making the dew sparkle. "It's so beautiful."  
  
Spinel Sun, too smiled. "Sometimes," he remarked, "you forget about the little things."  
  
Tomoyo nodded, knowing full well what he meant. She stated slowly, "It's been half a year. Eriol-kun's taken me all over the world. And now…I'm glad he was strong enough to take me back here, even though all those memories are here."  
  
Spinel Sun's eyes narrowed in concentration. She had pronounced his name with so much…tenderness and with so much…love, almost. Spinel wondered what this could mean. The feeling startled her herself in her voice, and her mind swirled with confusion. _What does this mean?_ Her heart began to beat wildly as she thought of him. _I didn't feel this way since… _  
  
Quickly shaking these thoughts away, she pounced on what she felt was a safe subject, interrupting Spinel's thoughts. "Do you have a cook?" she abruptly asked, the sudden thought occurring to her.  
  
Spinel Sun's eyes now widened at this unexpected question. "I…we…no. Eriol-sama likes to cook, but his attempts…and Ruby does too, but that…"  
  
She smiled brightly. "I see. I like to cook. And I don't think I'm too bad…" There was a glint in her eyes, and she dragged Spinel Sun into the kitchen.  
  
+ + +  
  
The rays of the sun filtered through the dark curtains. He felt the subtle warmth and snuggled deeper into the blankets, not wanting to wake up. Everything around him was warm and familiar, and he sank deeper into the fluffy blankets searching for another familiar thing that would never be there.  
  
It wasn't there, and never would be. Still he searched, wanting and not believing.  
  
+ + +  


The kitchen was alive with the smells of the morning and the bustle of happiness. Nakuru had come down, complaining about the noise, but the complaints died at the sight of food.  
  
The tables and dishes were all set and ready; all that was missing was, "Eriol-kun," she crinkled her nose, wondering why he wasn't awake.  
  
Spinel Sun and Nakuru were bickering already, so she quickly told them, "I'll go get Eriol-kun up, okay?" Before they could answer, she had already run up the stairs to the big antique wooden doors.  
  
Hesitantly, she opened the creaking doors and peered in. "Eriol-kun?" she called softly. There was a slight ruffle in the blanket. She smiled. "Eriol-kun," she repeated more loudly.  
  
He disappeared deeper into the folds of the blankets, not quite hearing, but hearing something familiar that he wanted so badly.  
  
She skipped over to his bed, putting her hand on the bulge in the blanket. She shook a bit, "Eriol-kun, wake up," she sang.  
  
He still didn't budge, only hunched into himself.  
  
Laughing lightly, she peered under the blanket, sticking her head in. "Eriol-kun," her singsong voice continued.  
  
What happened next was a blur.  
  
His hands brushed against something soft, familiar, and not familiar. Closing around it, he brought it close to himself abruptly.  
  
She gasped as he grabbed her hand, still laughing a bit. "Eriol-kun, what…"  
  
His grip was powerful and unyielding; she could feel herself go into the blanket, so that her hand wouldn't hurt. His other hand now found her face, feeling her velvet skin.  
  
"Eriol…"  
  
He crushed her to him, feeling her body bend against his. Familiar. Unfamiliar. Wanted. Needed.  
  
Her voice was now muffled, buried in his chest, but still she laughed, as though it was a joke. "Eriol-kun, what are you doing?"  
  
And then she felt something warm, damp, and soft on her lips. Her mouth opened in shock, but was quickly closed as his lips caressed hers desperately. The kiss swept through her body, leaving her shaking and helpless. And still, he pressed her closely, as though embedding her into him.  
  
+ + +  
  
They were finally having a somewhat civilized conversation finally, after that long fight about…about really nothing. Spinel Sun was carefully nibbling at the white bread, when Ruby Moon spoke.  
  
"Eriol-sama is healing."  
  
Spinel Sun looked up. "Yes."  
  
"Not because of time," Ruby Moon's voice was nonchalant, and she continued to stir her tea. "Or us, I'm ashamed to say."  
  
"There is nothing to be ashamed about," Spinel's voice was equally calm. "Just because he needs Tomoyo."  
  
"Oh, I'm not ashamed. Not really," her voice was now sheepish. "I'm just glad that Tomoyo…"  
  
"The point, Ruby, is that they're developing feelings for each other, and don't know it," he finished, guessing accurately. "That was what you meant to say, I presume?"  
  
"Well…" she hesitated. "Yes and no."  
  
Suddenly they heard a scream, followed by a loud slap. Both winced visibly. When they opened their eyes again, they briefly saw Tomoyo run out the door. Her face was glistening.  
  
Then Eriol was standing there, glasses, hair, and clothes askew. Now they turned their eyes on him.  
  
Ruby Moon finally spoke. "Okay . . . I guess you should go after her. What did you do to the poor girl anyway?"  
  
He straightened his glasses before answering. "I…kissed her." Neither of them answered. He looked at them, exasperated. "Well…?"  
  
Spinel Sun now spoke. "Do you love her?"  
  
He hesitated, not sure what to answer. "Well, hurry up!" Ruby Moon's voice was loud. "You don't want her to get away, do you?"  
  
He nodded and ran out the door after her. Spinel Sun looked at Ruby Moon carefully. "He loves her."  
  
"Yes," she nodded. "But that's not what I meant."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"It's not that they don't know…it's that they don't want to know. They're afraid. They're denying. Everything they've been living on is their pain. Now…" she trailed off.  
  
"He'll never forget Sensei," he stated, back to that noncommittal voice.  
  
"Like Tomoyo will never forget Sakura-chan. Who can ever forget their first love?" she asked, stirring her tea again. Spinel Sun nodded in turn, bending to nibble at his toast.  
  
+ + +  
  
He found her, sitting on a bench in the midst of his rose garden, staring blankly ahead. "To…Daidouji-san," he corrected himself, breathless.  
  
"So now I'm Daidouji-san," Tomoyo's voice was carefully guarded, polite.  
  
"Y-I mean, no…but…" he stammered, still standing, aghast at her coolness. Didn't she just slap him across the face with all the anger she could muster? "Aren't you…mad?" he finally countered.  
  
She was silent for a moment. "I don't know what to feel," she said softly, her eyes still not meeting his. "How do…_you_ feel?"  
  
Eriol grimaced. "I…I…" The question Spinel asked him had tortured him the whole run here. A strong feeling grew in his heart, and he knew what he had to say. Because she was sitting there, and she was what he needed, and she was all that he ever, ever wanted to have. To love, to hold, to cherish. "I love you Tomoyo," he finally said, almost in wonderment.  
  
"I know," she still remained clam, but a silent sob shook her body. "I know but what if it dies? What if it disappears? You still love her."  
  
_Her_… He nodded, unable to deny, but his heart was filled with his newfound conviction. "And don't you still love _her_?"  
  
"Yes," she said without hesitation. "Yes."  
  
"Do you love me?" he continued to interrogate.  
  
There was hesitation, but the answer was the same. "Yes," she said without hesitation. "I think I do."  
  
His heart welled in happiness, but he kept himself calm. "Then?"  
  
"Then?" she echoed, turning her head towards him for the first time, "I can't give my all to you. And…to me, it's terribly unfair. If you love someone, you should be able to give them your all…"  
  
He was startled to see tears in her violet eyes. He took her small hand in his. "Why are you afraid?" he was gentle as he caressed her hand.  
  
She suddenly laughed, tears streaming from her eyes. "God, I love you Eriol. You're the only one…who ever understood me." She was smiling now. "And I thank you for that."  
  
He bent down and touched his lips to hers. "I thank you for being here," he smiled too, "with me."  
  
Their lips met again.  
  
Only a few wispy white clouds dotted the sky, but it couldn't hide the brilliance of the bright blue sky. Even if it rained, there would be some place that carried a patch of blue.  
  
Sora.  
  



	8. Epilogue: Taiyou

****

Seasons

Epilogue: Taiyou  


Taiyou.  
  
The sky was dark and filled with the dark loom of clouds. It was drizzling, the rain coming in gentle wisps. The grass and flowers drank the water appreciatively, the little drops gentle and kind.  
  
A young woman walked through a meadow of green, her dark hair up, her umbrella up. She was dressed in all white, her stomach softly rounding. A little girl hung to her hand tightly, looking so much like her mother, but her eyes were the deepest, deepest blue.  
  
Across the distance, the young woman saw another expectant mother. Her brown hair was curled delicately about her face, and she had kind brown eyes. As they approached each other, both sets of eyes lighted up in recognition.  
  
"Tomoyo-san!" she exclaimed softly. "I haven't seen you since your wedding and that was four years ago!" She positively beamed. "I'm glad you came back. Chiharu-chan and Yamazaki-kun…" she caught sight of the little girl hanging on to Tomoyo's hand, with the deep blue eyes, and gasped. "Oh my, what a darling! Is she…?" she looked at Tomoyo, who nodded.  
  
"Sakura-chan," Tomoyo's voice changed little over the last few years, "this is Terada-san." The little girl named Sakura looked up at the woman, dimpling in a smile.  
  
"How old is she?" she bent down running her hand over the girl's ebony curls.  
  
"Three," Tomoyo replied, she too smiling. "Expecting again, Rika-san?"  
  
Rika blushed proudly. "Yes."  
  
Tomoyo watched her hand curl at the soft rounding and this time no pang struck her heart. "Where is Miyuki-chan?" she asked, curious as to where her daughter was.  
  
"Oh, with Yoshiyuki. I was just going over there myself right now. Do you want me to," she glanced at the bright pink petals and white peonies in Tomoyo's arms, a memory of long ago, "take Sakura-chan to meet Miyuki-chan?"  
  
Tomoyo nodded, her eyes filled with gratefulness. "Sakura-chan," she spoke gently to her daughter, "Terada-san will take you to play with her daughter okay?" Sakura looked at her mother quizzically but obediently nodded. They went off hand in hand.  
  
Tomoyo quickly reached that fateful place, where two clean tombstones lay side by side, under a cherry tree. She got down on her knees, not caring whether or not her white dress would get dirty. Her umbrella fell to one side, forgotten, and her dark head bowed in reverent respect. "Sakura-chan, Li-kun," she spoke, a tremor in her voice. "I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I'm married, see?" she held out her left hand, a sparkling amethyst surrounded by diamonds on her ring finger. "And I have a daughter. She's named after you, Sakura. I hope…I hope you're somewhere watching over us." Her left hand now touched her rounding stomach. "And Li-kun, you'd better be taking good care of Sakura-chan," she laughed, a lone voice in the full emptiness. "I'm expecting again," she sighed. "Anyway, Sakura-chan, Li-kun…I came to say that I'm happy. And I can finally let go."  
  
There was a sparkle of sun that touched the slabs of stones and her shoulders. She looked up, surprised at the light. There was a slight pressure on her shoulder and he turned to meet the blue, blue eyes she knew so well. "Hi," he said. Sakura was holding his hand.  
  
Tomoyo blinked. "Wasn't she with Rika-san, Eriol?"  
  
"Yes, but I brought her back," he said cheerfully, helping her up. "Let's go home."  
  
The three of them walked home hand in hand.  
  
The sky was slowly clearing; the rain stopped. The sun continued to shine on the two tombstones, wreathed with flowers. But even if it were still raining, happiness would be easy to find.  
  
You only had to look at yourself to find it.  
  
Taiyou.  
  
- end -  
  
**Notes:**

It's been fun, writing and rewriting this fic. And finally done with it's first edition! I'm so proud. XD I really have nothing more to say except that I can't believe how stupid I used to be. And so dramatic! I'm so ashamed.

Much thanks and love to Wusai darling; thanks to her, the chapter is now correctly named.

Took out all the lyrics and whatnot. With lots and lots of grammar/spelling/syntax corrections.

Hope you all enjoyed the edited version.

~meemee

Old notes:

::sighs:: It's the end. My first multi-chaptered fic I finished. It's really all symbolic. Did you notice how Tomoyo dresses? First it's dark, then at the end it's light. ^^;; Oh and the chapter titles, Ame to Taiyou, Rain to Sun. Anyhow, I need to thank some people [in no particular order], because I'm sure you really don't care about the symbolism. ^^;;  
  
white phoenix [and the other 'whites']: Thank you for 'beta'ing. I really appreciated it.  
  
Kasumi Izukawa: Thank you so much for your reviews. I don't think I would've continued without your reviews.  
  
Eevetta: Thank you for your reviews. Hope your site is doing well.  
  
L. Hiiragizawa: Les!! I'm glad you liked my humble little fic.  
  
Ekai Ungson: Kai 'nee-san, thank you for answering my email and helping me.  
  
Kazezero: I loved all your reviews. Besides Kasumi-san, you were the other one that kept me going.  
  
likeafallingstar, KyteAura, Kuarri, raven, Polgara-C, Psych, silverg3r: Thank you for reviewing! I always feel so flattered when I read them. And KyteAura, it was //very// rushed.  
  
I thank Minky, Midnight Arrow, Linda, meg, natasha, FinalYinYan, rakko- chan, saturnkj, watergoddess14, Midnight Dreamer, Erika, Autumn Moon, BoScOsGuRl, bluedragongirl, M&M, Peony Angel, lye-chan, Umeko and Kokori Inc., Linky-chan, Dark Tenshi, and slegna for reviewing 1 or 2 of the beginning chapters.  


~meemee


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